Mother steals her daughter's name and demands that everyone call her by it, daughter refuses, only refers to her by old name: 'I just don't get why she would change her name to mine'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Mar 30, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

We all have haters. Even if you try to live your life as a saint, spreading nothing but kindness wherever you go, there is always going to be someone who will have a problem with your existence. Yes, it's difficult to go through life without attaining a single hater, and so when that hater reveals themselves to you, it's best to think of it as a lifetime achievement. You must be doing something that's significant enough if someone else took the time to have an opinion on it. Be proud that you're doing something, at least!

When we get a hater and they decide to make their problems a problem for you, that's where it gets tricky. One of the worst kinds of haters is a jealous one because a jealous person will do some outlandish things to see if they can get what they do not have. One girl faced that issue when her mom told the family that she would be changing her name to the same name that her daughter has. Sharing a name with your mom is one thing if it's a family legacy, but if your mom is taking your name to satisfy some itch inside of her? Now, that's a problem. See how this girl deals with it.

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    "Aitah for calling my mom by her original name after she changed it to mine?"

    Im in a really strange situation. My mom a few months ago decided to name herself Sara, but with an 'x' (Xara) which me and my siblings thought it was extremely weird because well..thats my name minus the x thing. She stated that she never liked her name because it never suited her. Shes hispanic and
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    suited her. Shes hispanic and complained it was too white of a name for her. Plus she never had fond memories of her name Shes always loved the name Sara hence why she named me it. My great grandmother was named Sara and lots if people she loved were named Sara. Heres the thing im so creeped and weirded out by it. Her boyfriend and his
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    out by it. Her boyfriend and his kids all call her it and im always turning my head when they say my name to her. She knows me and my siblings distaste for her new name, but hasn't said anything about it till now. She would get upset when i would call her by her own name saying I only do it to bug her. Thing is i
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    only do it to bug her. Thing is i usually call her by her actual name because she never responds when i say "Mom" its the only way to get her attention. but she believes i do it out of spite Today she told me why was it so easy to call my trans friends by their preferred names but not someone who is family, and who shares the strongest bond with me. I tried to explain that my friends don't associate with their gender thats why they wouldn't want a feminine/masculine name.
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    My Mom is not queer. I can't stop thinking about this and maybe im in the wrong? I just dont get why she would change her name to mine. Aitah?
    via Username191181
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    Everyone said this girl's mom was being weird.

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    A number of women see their daughters become women and it freaks them out. They see their own mortality, age, wrinkles and they panic.
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    They can seduce their daughter's boyfriends, they can seduce all their son's friends, and they try to invalidate their daughters, to boost their own ego, to hang onto their youth and make them feel like they "still have it."
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    She doesn't want to answer to "Mom" to adult or near adult children because it makes her look "old".
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    I wonder if this girl's mom has seen The Substance...

    She's jealous of you and is taking your name because she's weak, and afraid. It's almost pathetic.
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    Depending on your age, leaving as soon as you can is a good idea. Plan on doing well in school and getting to college and away from her.
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    In the meantime, don't argue with her. She's weird and creepy but your time with her is limited.
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    NTA, that is extremely weird, your mother has problems. I mean it's almost like she's trying to replace you but then she sounds like she's gaslighting you into thinking it's an inclusion thing as payback for your friends name changes?
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    A lot of people gave some great options to get back at the mom.

    I would start calling her Brenda and every white sounding name instead. Your mom seems immature and unhinged. She changed her name because it sounded too white so she changed it to Xara? How is Xara ethnic? And what kind of loon changes their name to sound the same as their child? NTA.
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    NTA. But if she doesn't respond to Mom you should first try using 'mother' instead. Then Ex Ara. Then Sara Senior. Then Old Sara. Then Fake Sara. Then Delusional Sara. You can skip any of these stages. Except senior and old. Obviously.
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    NTA. In the American language, "X" is usually pronounced as a zee, so start calling "Zara" instead of Sara. If asked, explain that you are pronouncing her name in the proper English form. That should. really set her off.
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    from a clinical perspective, this is interesting behavior and she should be sent off to a lab to be studied. Keep an eye out for other odd behaviors in case she's having a mental health crisis. On the bright side, she must think really highly of you?
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    I think the best play here is to just refer to her as "mom". That way you're not going directly against her and "deadnaming" her.
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    Completely avoid saying the name. If she asks, tell her you don't mind her changing her name it's just a REALLY - uncomfortable situation for you because it's harmful to your sense of identity, both with everyone in the household and in your relationship with her. If she's
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    relationship with her. If she's not completely emotionally stupid, i would hope she would understand - i suspect this is why she at least changed the spelling.
    via Username191181

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family drama aita reddit story names family reddit thread Reddit mom weird
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